75 Days

One year ago we started on a journey whose end would come too soon and whose daily horror show we could never be prepared for and hopefully will one day recover from.466286_10150586099766601_690406600_9237545_882314646_o

Jonathan explained it to me the best just two days ago, he said “Dad, 3/7 is the day we lost Faith”. While technically he was wrong, I understand what he meant. March 7th was the day she left the home she lived in all her life, the community which loved, taught and supported her. She would only return for two days in all that time. For far too many, you would never get the chance to see her again.

I had never realized that. For Sue and I our 24/7 vigil was so consuming, and while life was very different, horrific at times, we still had her and hope.

I don’t know what I will be doing over the next 75 days, maybe more videos, happy pictures. The words come with too much pain now. Time has not lessened the pain or especially for me the memories. They are as sharp if not sharper now then they were then. To give you some perspective, I was speaking with a new therapist that I am working with. I said “Yeah, to think breast cancer was just a speed bump in our road”. The look on her face was priceless. Those words were not mine though, they were Sue’s. Freaking cancer is supposed to be hard, really hard, but in comparison it has been almost incidental.

While I know we have the ability for unlimited love, I also now know that we have a limit to how much we can feel, at one point we reach that limit and are numb.

It’s a new year, another anniversary and time to keep working on healing our Minds, Bodies & Souls.

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